This is my entry for the sagaysagay.com #MyJambStory competition. Here i tried to depict girls penchants for shopping and how it affected a supposed jamb candidate.
My uncle called to inform me that he had secured a lecturer at the
MAULAG (now UNILAG) to runs my admission, as long as I can score 180
in the JAMB exams coming up in 3 months. I explained to him that
there is also Post-JAMB exams arranged by the university and asked
whether the lecturer can runs that one too and he said its not going
to be a problem. He said my admission letter is ready but only if I
can score 180. I smiled and said ONLY 180? Piece of cake, I can score
380.
I thought to myself that in 3 months or thereabout, I would be a
Jambito and after another 9 months, I can start calling others
Jambitos. I took out all my textbooks and decided to start studying
in earnest. While taking out my textbooks, I discovered that my
wardrobe was almost dry, I must have being left behind in the fashion
world. All the clothes I had in there were outdated and wouldnt fit
into a university like MAULAG and I was still going about with a
Nokia E71. I didnt like all that and so I approached my dad to
convince him of the need to upgrade my wardrobe to meet up with
university standards.
My dad failed to understand what I meant by university standards and
wanted to know why I hadnt found a good tuition house to register for
lessons. I waved it away and said I could do that in no time,
moreover the exam is in 3 months so there is more than enough time to
study for 400 lousy questions. Luckily for me, mum was there and she
convinced him not to probe further. He gave me 100k for shopping. I
thought this was not going to be enough so I called my friends Kike
and Ife to assist me.
In order to properly manage the money, we spent 1 week at MAULAG to
see the fashion trends amongst its female students. Apparently 1 week
was not enough so we had to spend another 1 week, taking secret shots
of impeccably dressed female students.
After 2 weeks of undercover fashion investigation, we finally decided
on what to get for me using the tight budget at our disposal.
The 1st 3 days at the Palms Lekki was terrible, things
were so expensive we thought Kim Kardashian now shops in Palms. We
spent the next few days penning available low priced stores to decide
which to exploit next, we settled for City Mall at Onikan and went
there the following week. The difference between City Mall and The
Palms can be likened to a Blackberry Bold 2 and Bold 4 so we ditched
it after sampling all the items in almost all the stores. We were
busy at my place thinking of where else to go when it dawned on me
that we should go to Balogun market on Lagos Island, the warehouse of
them all.
Now, Balogun market is not all about gbanjo and cheap things, they
have new stuffs and 1st class materials that we can get at
the lowest possible price. Afterall some City Mall and Palms stores
get their stock from Balogun market.
We made plans and stormed Balogun market. It took us over 1 week to
do the shopping, even Kike and Ife got to pick some tops and a pair
of shoes each.
We spent the next couple of weeks trying to see the best possible way
to get the maximum out of my new acquisitions when one day on the 9pm
NTA news, a commercial came on that JAMB examination will be written
on Saturday the 14th of march 2012, I smiled and checked
the date on my new blackberry curve 4 only to see “Thu, Mar 12”.
Confusion set in and I remembered the fire brigade approach normally
used by the Nigerian Eagles in competitions. I took out my books and
started to cram sharp sharp but fell asleep barely 30 minutes later
on the sitting room couch. I had a terrible nightmare where I saw my
books running after me, when I woke up, I instantly remembered the
JAMB examination happening the next day and began jacking again. I
did 4 straight hours of jacking.
Kike came in at about 11 am to inform me of what she saw on the news
last night, I allayed her fears that I was already studying hard. She
asked me where my centre is and whether I had gone there to secure
the teachers there to provide me with espo, I stared at her with a
blank face when I realized I had not even bought JAMB form.
In that moment, I appreciated the 5th line of the
Nigerian national anthem.
Needless to say, I was truly jambed.
