Anger

Anger is a canker that most people would like to avoid. Anger has led to various destroyed marriages and failed relationships. Anger if not controlled can lead to destruction, hurt feelings and break-ups in relationship, business or friendship. Sometimes it can lead to family break-up between siblings.

When we are angry, we say things that we wouldn't otherwise have said, we do things that we would normally not do, we act in ways that we wouldn't act. Not because we want to but because when we are angry, emotions run high and we seem to lose grip of ourselves.

There are a few folks who are adept at controlling anger. They know how to stay calm irrespective of the amount of temptation thrown at them. They stay calm irrespective of the amount of physical abuse they receive. They do not respond not because they do not have the means or the power to respond, but because  they are patient enough to withstand what is being thrown at them. Two wrongs don't make a right, they make a left.

If everyone were to be angry at every provocation, then we would not have people to talk to, to share our feelings with. A Chinese proverb says "if you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow". Everyone has his/her way of showing anger.

Anger may not necessarily mean shouting at one another, it may not necessarily mean exchanging or throwing harsh words or physical abuse. The best form of anger is silence as according to a correct Burmese proverb "the anger of the prudent never shows". In line with the saying "forgive but don't forget", practising silent anger means you forgive whatever is said but don't forget the lessons learnt. There is always a learning point in every angry session, which could be how not to talk to someone, how not to release the clutch, what not to do in the presence of someone etc etc.
I can forgive you for calling me a moron, but I can't forget you called me a moron. I don't have to hold it against you, but I know not to act again in such a way that you'll call me a moron.

But then also, it is important to be wary of people who rarely show their anger. Francis Quarles said; "beware of him that is slow to anger; for when it is long coming, it is the stronger when it comes, and the longer kept. Abused patience turns to fury".
Sometimes we store anger within for so long like a canister filled with flammable liquid. When the D day final arrives and that anger is let out, it destroys like a tsunami sweeping through a village of lose trees and objects.

Some ladies do not appreciate having husbands who do not show them anger, they want sometimes to see how angry their man can be. A man who doesn't show anger to his woman does so out of love and respect for if he gets angry at even his wife, who would calm him the day he unleashes his tsunami of anger?

Anger solves no problems, it rather causes harm. When angry, in the words of Rick Warren, "the wise man waits and chills out", or Thomas Jefferson; "If you're angry, count to ten. If you are very angry, count to one hundred".

Smile! ☺

We lot have found ourselves in the midst of great people in our time on mother earth. Through thick and thing, one thing that stands us out is the smile that never leaves our faces.

As arrogant as can be and as humble as  can be imagined, a smile never leaves the face. The smile that breaks barriers, the smile that communicates to people that you are one of them and ready to blend in, the smile that equally tells the onlooker that he doesn't belong close with you, the smile that makes you new friends and the smile that makes enemies of acquaintances.

A great number of times, this same smile has got us into trouble because in as much as we mean well with our smile, there is always that moment when our smile is misconstrued.

We smile when we are sad and we smile when we are happy. That way no one knows the true state of ouir selves unless we  say so. We have on numerous occasions had issues with people who think our smile during serious discussions is  a lack of seriousness. A lot have come to understand that the smile is a way to relax the nerves and stay positive. After all what is the use of frowning over a broken down car in the middle of nowhere. We'll rather smile at how we managed to get ourselvesd in such a situation. We shouldnt cry over spilt milk, we'llrather smile and wonder how we managed to spill the milk.

Growing up, we have had people chastise us for smiling when we are being scolded. It is seen as a sign of disrespect. But we don't see it that way. We smile because it is the way we are, we smile because we have learnt to see the positive side of things no matter the situation. We smile because no amount of frowning, distortion or disturbance can change the way things are. We smile because we know whatever is happening at that moment good or bad is temporal. And as we develop, we have noticed that our smile opens doors for us, makes people drop their guard and be at ease with us because a smiley face means no harm.

Even though there are times when that smiley face is to cause harm, it always ends up for good because at the end of the day, we'll smile to wonder how we got beaten by that smiley face that caused us harm.

The Difference

There is a saying that a candle loses nothing when it lights another candle. While this is actually true, I may add that by that action, the candle which has lighted the previously unlit candle has set off a chain reaction that is bound to move from generation to generation.

It is like trying to light a 100 metre corridor for a group of children to go across. No single candle may be able to carry out this task, as such 10 candles may need to be placed at 10 metre intervals. It is like passing on the torch after your bit is done. We all have contributions to make before finally departing.

While my belief in the hereafter is questionable, one thing which is certain and is clear for everyone to see is that a dead man is a dead man. We don’t have amongst us, in our generation, anyone who has died and resurrected and is currently living amongst us.

When we render a helping hand or an act of kindness to one in need, whether or not they have requested, we have set off a chain reaction that goes a long way beyond what the actual intention was meant for. No single act starts and stops at the same spot.

So for instance, paying a school boy’s trotro fare of GHC1 saves him GHC1 which could be difference between him getting lunch or not. His using that extra GHC1 available to him to get lunch gives the lunch seller an extra GHC1 which could be the difference between paying hospital bill and losing a life. The chain reaction can go on and on and on. We never know where this act of kindness ends up but one thing is sure, it could end up saving a life or lives.

There are times we do things to people which we feel counts to nothing, and these things bring these people to come like they’ll worship us just to show appreciation. We have no doubt benefited from previous acts of kindness that we carried out with no intention of reaping from, but they come back at us to reward us when we least expect and need it most.

It doesn’t cost a pound of flesh to donate blood which may save a life tomorrow, maybe the life of loved ones or ourselves. It instead gives us this “heavenly” level of fulfilment knowing we have done and achieved something great, like we have attained the final level of Abraham Marslow’s pyramid of needs, Self Actualization, which in itself is never possible.

Like the feeling I will get when I finally own a Brabus tuned G-Wagon.

1,122 Days Later

Its being over 1,100 days since i last wrote anything on here. During this period,

• Eminem has released Shady IV;
• Arsenal won back to back FA Cup while maintaining a top 4 finish;
• Vettel moved to Ferrari and Verstappen took over as the youngest F1 driver at 18 years;
• Lewis Hamilton won back-to-back F1 titles with Mercedes while Nico kept being a Nico;
• Kotoko extended their record of not losing to Hearts of Oak at Accra in the last 5 years;
• Muhammadu Buhari ousted Goodluck Jonathan from Aso Rock;

The list is never ending.

Me?  I have continued the tradition of using my smile to confuse people.